will_be_god: (Defeat is...impossible...!)
will_be_god ([personal profile] will_be_god) wrote in [community profile] smash_ooc 2015-11-07 07:48 am (UTC)

Player: Blackjack
Character(s): Cyrus
Seeking: At this point, people to tolerate him. In the longer run, some...friends.
Goals & Directions: As you may or may not have noticed, Cyrus finally got his wish. No not THAT one. The other one, the one to be emotionless. Mesprit finally got pissed off at him and took them. And he's finding that it's not all peace and harmony. Since he doesn't have his personal demons any more, no feelings of insecurity or rage or hatred to fuel his desire for a world without any of those things, he's sort of lost his ability to move forward in his plan (if he could have in the first place what with no way to extract the Red Chain). Plus, the physical ramifications of having his brain chemistry radically altered in a very short time are catching up with him.

He won't stay like this. Eventually he'll get them back. But as expected, getting what he had so long viewed as perfection amd discovering that it was crap for him, and that even if he created a universe that fixed those issues in it he would still be the only being with those flaws...well, that's going to seriously mess him up. (And yes we're all thinking it, messed up in a much different way than before)

With that sort of wall being dropped in the path of his ambition, he's going to need people to rely on. This is more or less his biggest breakthrough yet. Even when he came back from the Distortion World, even when he realized that he was in love with Voile and that he saw Rhys as a friend...well, he scampered off to who knows where and convinced himself that he could just shove those feelings away. And now he can't work up even that delusion. Now he truly can't run away from his feelings. And while he'll continue to believe that a cosmic system wipe is what's best, he'll realize that he can't be the one to do it. And so he's going to desperately need people around him.


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